Gluten Free Jokes… you might be a Celiac!

(In my best Jeff Foxworthy voice….)

If your Christmas ornaments are made out of shotgun shells….. you might be a Redneck!

If you know what I mean by “loose stool”….. you might be a celiac!

If you have gotten over the fear of pooping in public….. you might be a celiac!

If you have ever believed that your gut was going to explode….. you might be a celiac!

If you find yourself reading more food labels than emails….. you might be a celiac!

If you can read an ingredient labels in micro-seconds….. you might be a celiac!

If you take more Imodium than vitamins….. you might be a celiac!

If you use your inability to drink beer as a reason to drink top shelf liquor….. you might be a celiac!

If people don’t know your name but remember you eat gluten free….. you might be a celiac!

If you’re always asking your friends for the list of ingredients they used for dinner….. you might be a celiac!

If you notice you constantly use the word “rice” as a adjective….. you might be a celiac.

If the pantry is full and there’s nothing you can eat…literally!!….. you might be a celiac.

If you have to explain to every waiter what gluten is….. you might be a celiac!

If beer gives you more than just the “beer farts”….. you might be a celiac!

If you thought you were hearing voices, but it turned out to be the gluten you just ate….. you might be a celiac!

If you have more gas than a filling station….. you might be a celiac!

Additions: If you can think of a new one, let me know.  I’ll add it.


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23 Responses to “Gluten Free Jokes… you might be a Celiac!”

  1. I have my own list on my blog as well as links to the other lists. I also wrote some gluten free jokes. Go to my funny section in sidebar.

  2. April says:

    GF cookies 5 years ago, now that was a joke!

  3. Chris says:

    If you have an unnatural fear od using other people’s kitchens…

    If you use the word ‘gluten’ as a verb, ie “I think I’ve been glutened!”…

    If the fact that a restaurant has a dessert that you can actually eat almost brings you to tears of joy…

  4. Mike says:

    If you’ve ever said, “That must be the gluten talking.”…..

  5. Majetta says:

    If you’ve ever cleared the room after eating gluten . . .


    If your stomach looks like a basketball . . .

    will those do?

  6. i am into Gluten-Free diet because i am allergic to gluten. when baking bread, i always use Guar Gum or Xanthan Gum

  7. acnemelanie says:

    i have an allergy to Gluten and most of the time i use guar gum or xanthan gum for baking. these gums are good substitute for wheat.

  8. jc says:

    if you have ever cursed out-loud as you read the ingredients in the store. EX: the flour is made of beans, the beano has wheat. You’ve Got To Be KIDDING ME, SH**T

  9. SuzyReid says:

    If you’ve developed a schpeel to go along with every dish you eat in public…

    If you have to shop at eight different grocery stores to get just the basics…

    If your family and friends have gotten used to talking to you on the phone while you’re on the toilet…

  10. Mike says:

    If you left Santa gluten free cookies & milk… You might be a celiac.

  11. [...] You know you’re a celiac if…you use your inability to drink beer as a reason to drink to… [...]

  12. I will immediately clutch your rss as I can not to find your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please allow me recognise in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  13. Lovemy celiacWIFE says:

    If you pay the price of a while Pizza for a slice…

    If you give people dirty looks thinking they might have just dipped Gluten in non gluten product ( like a reg person would know)

    If your waiters feel like the are being cross examined when you ask about their kitchens and food prep.

    If you farted a little while reading this!

  14. Mike says:

    LOL @ Lovemy celiacWIFE

    Thank you!

  15. Monty Brogan says:

    Q. How can you tell how many gluten free people are in the room?

    A. They’ll tell you.

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