Gluten Free Stand-up Comedy

We all know celiac and gluten free are heard on almost every show in main stream television… even Tosh.0 tonight.  It has even made it’s way into stand-up comedy.  This bit is funny… but very serious for most of us.  We all probably experienced one day like this…

John Pinette
“What has gluten in it? …EVERYTHING REASON TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!!!”

For more celiac jokes, view my “You might be a Celiac” jokes page. Make sure to read the comments for reader submitted jokes.

Frequently Asked Gluten Free Questions

On a daily basis, I check to see what search terms people used to end up on my blog.  Some are pretty basic and some get complicated.  I am going to try and cover a bunch of them now…

Chipotle: My “go to” for a quick and tasty meal.  I can always find one nearby when in a hurry.  I get a chicken burrito bowl!  I like it so much, I decided to make my own at home.  It was pretty good.  Every time I go, I watch the cooks to pick up tips and the little ingredients.

Free Wristbands: My wristbands are not free, but I do offer a couple ways to get yours free for helping spread the word about them.  I did give a handful away for free during the gluten free Twitter party #gfree.

Bakeries: There are some great bakeries out there that make gluten free items.  Lots of them are even supplying restaurants so they can offer their version of gluten free plates.  I started a list of gluten free bakeries sorted by state.

Jokes: I would have never guessed that so many people would search for jokes about celiac.  I guess when the symptoms are “dirty,” you could call these dirty jokes!

Margaritas: Yes, margaritas are gluten free!  There are lots of different ways to make them, but I posted my favorite.  I can’t think of anything that is normal in margaritas that could contain gluten.  This is always one of my safe bets.  I used to love a nice cold beer on a hot day(or any occasion) but good margaritas are doing the trick for me now.

Magazine: There are a few magazines about living gluten free: Delight (that I wrote a review of), and Gluten Free Living.

Effects of Gluten/Sleepy/Lethargic:  I didn’t have the typical stomach symptoms, so it was tough for me to make the switch to gluten free and keep on track.  After years of delaying my switch, I noticed I was always tired and could care less about many things.  After switching, I feel great and alert!  When I accidentally get ‘glutened’ I can tell a difference in how I feel that day and the next morning.  I wake up after sleeping 10 hours and think back to something I ate yesterday.

Beer/Light Beer/Redbridge/Bud Light: NO, Bud Light is not gluten free!  YES, Redbridge is gluten free!  There are many alternatives now and many more to come!  ARTICLE

Taquitos: You have to watch out when buying or ordering taquitos,  they can have hidden sources of gluten.  First, you need to make sure they use corn tortillas.  Second, frequently even ground beef can have gluten added to it.  I wrote an article about some taquitos I found that state on the box GLUTEN FREE.

Pizza: Pizza is one of the things I miss the most.  I used to be able to go to the Little Ceasar’s and get a $5 pizza- how convenient, cheap and good.  I can’t do that anymore.  Here are a list of places that serve gluten free pizza.  Through trial and error, I have found some good ones.

#gfree: This was a Twitter tag that is used to categorize Tweets when talking about gluten free.  It was started when we had a gluten free party day.  The #gfree party was a huge sucess, and I hope to see many more in the future.  People continue to use it.

I hope this article has helped give you quick references to the most frequently searched terms on my site about gluten free.  I’m sure I will add more in the future.

Gluten Free Jokes… you might be a Celiac!

(In my best Jeff Foxworthy voice….)

If your Christmas ornaments are made out of shotgun shells….. you might be a Redneck!

If you know what I mean by “loose stool”….. you might be a celiac!

If you have gotten over the fear of pooping in public….. you might be a celiac!

If you have ever believed that your gut was going to explode….. you might be a celiac!

If you find yourself reading more food labels than emails….. you might be a celiac!

If you can read an ingredient labels in micro-seconds….. you might be a celiac!

If you take more Imodium than vitamins….. you might be a celiac!

If you use your inability to drink beer as a reason to drink top shelf liquor….. you might be a celiac!

If people don’t know your name but remember you eat gluten free….. you might be a celiac!

If you’re always asking your friends for the list of ingredients they used for dinner….. you might be a celiac!

If you notice you constantly use the word “rice” as a adjective….. you might be a celiac.

If the pantry is full and there’s nothing you can eat…literally!!….. you might be a celiac.

If you have to explain to every waiter what gluten is….. you might be a celiac!

If beer gives you more than just the “beer farts”….. you might be a celiac!

If you thought you were hearing voices, but it turned out to be the gluten you just ate….. you might be a celiac!

If you have more gas than a filling station….. you might be a celiac!

Additions: If you can think of a new one, let me know.  I’ll add it.

mgcad

Celiac Joke of the Day: Bus Ride

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize that meal you thought was gluten-free, really wasn’t… and you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you decide to be clever and time your farts with the beat.  After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down.  That’s when you remember:

…..you’ve been listening to your ipod.